A couple of weeks’
back, my pastor (Debo Omotunde) was sharing on a very important principle
during a church service – that at the core of who we are is what we
believe. While at it, he mentioned something that really got my attention,
and made me study a little more on the subject. He called it “The one virtue
fix it all syndrome”. I will explain...
There are many of us
who would not believe an outright lie, especially when we know it is a lie. But
we fall for half-truths easily. Half-truths are quite dangerous – often more
dangerous that blatant lies, as they contain in them an element of
truth.
Take a virgin for
example. He or she will be suffering from the “one virtue fix it all” syndrome,
if he/she believes that ALL that is needed to have a blissful marriage is to
marry as a virgin! Believe it or not, there are people who thinks like this.
They feel that life owes then a great marriage because they’ve kept themselves
for their spouses all these several years. While virginity is a great
virtue (and one that is VERY crucial at that), a great marriage is a function
of several other virtues. Without great character, communication skills,
conflict resolution skills, money skills, relational skills etc, your virginity
alone is not likely to take you that far if a great marriage is your goal. That
one virtue cannot and will not fix it all for you.
At the core of who we are is what we believe.
Take a very honest
business man or entrepreneur as another example. Honesty alone cannot give you
success in business. Please do not misunderstand me. I do not and will not
discount the place of honesty in doing business. It is a very critical virtue
for business success, but will not by itself deliver business success to you. It
is great to tell the truth and not to give bribes and all that – but what about
hard-work? What about time management skills and people management skills? What
about financial planning and budgeting? What about customer service skills that
distinct you and make you different from the crowd / competition? If you
think business has been unfair to you, just because you are the honest guy, you need to
have a rethink. Honesty, plus a couple of other virtues is what brings business
success.
Let me share a final
example. I once met a friend whose church was not really growing,
despite the fact that he was a great preacher. He was very eloquent and could hold
you bound with his story telling skills. His thoughts were that once he was
preaching great sermons and he focusses entirely on that, people will come to
his church, This is true – but only a half truth. What about the other parts of
the service? What about the flow of the service, as well as its timeliness?
What about the ambience and the “fellowship” after or beyond church
services? The ability to preach great sermons is a wonderful one, and very
crucial to church growth, but to believe that that is the ONLY thing required
to grow a church is not wise.
My point is this –
there is a grave danger in a belief system that says that once I have a
particular strength, that area of my life should be sorted. This singular
virtue that I have and I hold dear to, should be able to sort me out. Life is
not structured that way. Success in any area of life is a combination of
several virtues (or skills), and progress is only guaranteed when you operate
in that space. Don’t be caught in the “one virtue fix it all” syndrome.
