Saturday, June 22, 2019

Foundational Laws of Marriage - The Law of Pursuit

One of the most common misconceptions I have seen/heard about marriage is this “If I marry the right person, the emotions will happen naturally and effortlessly throughout our marriage.” Have you heard that before? Another variation of it is “If my emotions change toward my spouse, I must have married the wrong person.” Nothing can be farther from the truth. Marriage is not a stroll in the park. It is work – real work! You must work at your relationship. Couples often worked hard pursuing each other when dating, but after years of marriage, they often stop working at their relationship.
“Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife….”. To “hold fast” or “cleave” in Hebrew means to pursue with energy. It means to” run after it.” Intimacy is always the result of effort. Where you invest yourself, you’ll be passionate. Good marriages don’t just happen automatically-they are the byproduct of long-term, consistent effort. That you are working at your marriage is not a sign that you married the wrong person. No! Everyone who has a great marriage worked at it and still does till now.
Men especially need to pay attention to this law. Men mostly operate the “point system”. The feel that positive events, experiences, and actions should fuel relationships and emotions long term. So, a man buys a flower for his wife and in his mind, that’s a point scored. Help with the dishes, another point. Buy her a gift, maybe 2 points. That could easily be 5 points if the gift is a piece of nice jewelry…. like real gold 😊. The problem is this: all points expire at midnight! You’d need to start a new day on a clean state. The points you scored today will rarely satisfy your wife tomorrow. You’ve got to work at it every day. Your wife wants to hear “I love you” every day. It doesn’t matter if you said it 20 times the previous day. She wants you to recharge her emotional tank on a regular basis. Buying an expensive gift once and expecting that that would cover for the next 3 months is delusionary. You must pursue, daily.
Women can apply this as well. Though men are not stuck on a point system, you’d still need to “pursue” your husband daily. What were the things you did that attracted you to him during the courtship years? Do you still do them? Are you still fun to be with like it used to be? I know some of you reading this are frustrated right now, and maybe you are even about to call it quits. You are saying to yourself “this is not the man I married”! He sure is. Don’t fall into the misconception that if there are no more emotions, or feeling, then you have fallen out of love, and there is no way back. That cannot be true. You need to remember when you both pursued each other, and the things you did at the very beginning that made you fall in love.
Let us offer some suggestions on how you can both practice this law and pursue each other:
How can the man pursue his wife daily?
  • Enter and know her inner world: Daily conversations, physical and emotional presence, lending a hand, etc.
  • Care for her heart: Reassure her of your love constantly (in words and in action), be playful, flirty and light-hearted at appropriate times
  • Have her back in all things: Your wife needs to be secured in every aspect
  • Take time to be with her: give her time and attention, plan playtime together, plan date nights uninterrupted by phones and work, be spontaneous.
  • Give her your affection: Too much time should not pass in-between hugs, kisses, and “I love you”.
  • Be romantic: Get her flowers. Write a note/poem or whatever she likes.
  • Pray with her and for her. She needs you leading the family altar.
How can the woman pursue her husband daily?
  • Make your home a safe place: Men value peace and tranquility
  • Put a filter over your mouth: Let your words communicate respect and honour. This is a mega need for men.
  • Pray with him and pray for him: Have prayer times together. Be his prayer warrior and lift him up in prayers.
  • Initiate in the bedroom. Men and women are wired differently. He will appreciate it a lot if you’d initiate. Flirt with him.
Please, feel free to share other ideas that you believe will aid the pursuit of your spouse.

Foundational Laws of Marriage - The Law of Priority

One of the striking and helpful truth Bukola and I have learned about marriage in recent times is on the Foundational Laws of Marriage. We first heard about it from one of our marriage mentors, Jimmy Evans. It’s been a huge blessing. We have shared it with a lot of couples, at an individual level and even with groups. I believe that it is something every couple who is serious about marital bliss should have a critical look at.

While many people desperately want a marriage that succeeds, fewer and fewer really believe that it can happen for them. It’s difficult to find successful marriages when there are so many casualties in relationships. All around us, the statistics speak – and the numbers are not great! Only about 20% of couples really enjoy marital bliss. How should you then position to ensure that your marriage succeeds?
In the next few posts, we want to share the “Foundational Laws of Marriage” with you. God created marriage based on these foundational laws, and when you obey these laws, your marriage is guaranteed to work. It is God’s way of “doing” marriage.
Law 1: The Law of Priority:
This is perhaps the 1st place that I see many couples missing it. The law of priority simply states that marriage works only in the 1st place. Marriage is designed to operate as the top priority, except for your personal relationship with God. If marriage is not your top priority, it will not work. Please, note that the only thing that is permitted to take priority over your marriage is your “walk” with God – not your “work” for Him. Work, children, career, hobbies and the likes, cannot be ahead of your marriage if you want it to work the way it was designed.
Your spouse would resist naturally when your priorities are out of order – when they feel that something else is “deemed” to be of higher priority than your marriage. Legitimate jealousy then sets in and disrupts things further. We are not saying that your work, career or children are not important. They are. They are all good things, but they can be out of priority if you place them ahead of your marriage.
The 1st instruction God gave Adam on marriage was this “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife…. (Gen 2:24). In other words, a man will have to re-adjust his priorities and make unity with his wife a top priority.
How then do you establish the right priority in your marriage?
Priorities must be proven in real terms, and not just in words
It is more than just telling your spouse “you are my number 1”. It is good to say that, but it is better to “prove” it. Here are a couple of ways to “prove” it
  • Sacrifice – What are you willing to give up in order to prioritize your spouse? Golf? Soccer? Social media? Excessive meetings?
  • Time – Making a conscious effort to spend quality time with your spouse, often.
  • Energy – Investing the best of your energy meeting your spouse’s needs.
  • Attitude – Your attitude must show and communicate that you really want to be with your spouse.
Priorities must be constantly protected from good things out of priority.
Most times, the things that compete for your time and attention are not particularly bad things, I suppose. A great career aspiration isn’t bad. Working for God in a local assembly is a great thing to do. Spending time with the kids is awesome, isn’t it? The problem comes when these things are out of priority and starts to take the place of God, or your spouse.
We have set an order of priority in our own marriage: God, Marriage, Children, Career/Work, Church, Extended family and friends, hobbies and interests, etc.
Is your priority out of order? Think about that and discuss with your spouse. 
See you soon!

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Make More Room

The last couple of weeks have been very busy for me and I’ve been on the road / in the air more than my normal travel schedule. I’m writing this on my way back from one of such travels.

I was just thinking about my wife and the bliss we have enjoyed over the years. We are not a perfect couple. We’ve had our share of challenges - but they’ve been very few and very far apart. There are “rooms” in and around 'our house' that we’ve paid attention to that I’d like to share briefly on the things that have helped. May I?

The Upper room: Spiritual Connection

In my opinion, this is the room mostly neglected by couples. The busy schedules of life take a toll and they don’t have time to connect with God on a regular basis, first as individuals and then as a couple.  I know of no faster way to drift apart than this! Read this slowly and carefully - Your personal intimacy with God will overflow into your shared intimacy with your partner. Your commitment to developing a personal relationship with God is the greatest investment in your marriage. The love of God cannot be overflowing in your heart and not flow to your spouse. When the love of God is shed abroad in your heart, it overflows to others.

Not only do I encourage a personal connection with God, but I also recommend you both do so on a regular basis. At least once a week (ideally more), pray together with your spouse. Study the word of God together. Listen to a message together. Share new learnings from the Bible and from books you are reading. Share a prayer point and agree together in prayer. You’d be amazed at the power you both bring - Together.

The Ballroom: Emotional/ Romantic Connection

This is a very important part of fueling the marital passion. It speaks of showing love, care, and attention to your spouse in the way to want to be loved. A ballroom is a place of fun. Have fun with your spouse. When last did you both really laugh out loud together? Don’t be too serious with your spouse all the time. Everything can’t be about planning, balancing accounts, and talking about the future or about the kids! Enjoy the moment together. Enjoy today’s sunshine while you prepare for tomorrow’s rain. Take your wife out to see a movie or on a date night. Follow your husband to watch his favorite sport. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to be romantic and fun!

Please make it a priority to be mindful of your spouses’ emotional well-being. Emotional intimacy can be experienced in shared fun, daily love-communicating behaviors, weekly interactive date nights to keep knowing one another, and expressing affirmations for how you serve one other. Speak your spouse’s love language while communicating love.

For the guys especially, please pay attention to talk time. Find time during the day to listen (in order to understand thoughts and feelings, and not to proffer solutions) to your wife. Pay full attention and get rid of all distractions ( phones for example). Try investing 30 mins at least 3 times in a week to doing this, and you’d thank me later.

The Boardroom - “Brainpower” Connection

The boardroom is where important business decisions are made. It’s a place where your mind and brainpower are utilized. It’s common to see couples drifting apart mentally. While one is developing his/ her mind, the other is lagging way behind. This soon causes a problem as they are on different reasoning wavelength. I encourage couples to devote time together for problem-solving. Look at your financial goals together and “think through” possible solutions. There is a connection that comes from solving problems together. Don’t underestimate the brain power of your spouse and if you have reasons to, then, you’ve got work to do - help them develop and improve it!

When you work together this way, you are combining strong analytic and logical reasoning, spiced with “gut feel” and heart. It’s a winning combination. Please remember that you are a team, not competitors.

The Bedroom - Intimacy Connection

I have deliberately put this last. This is the place of physical and sexual intimacy with your spouse and it’s an awesome room, with tremendous power. Sexual intimacy is something God designed for marriages - yours inclusive. You are to derive joy and pleasure from it.

Someone said that a good marriage is a friendship with a lot of passion. I believe him. One of the major casualties of the harried pace of modern marriage is the loss of sexual intimacy. It is too high a price to pay, honestly.

“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality, the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights. Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out." 1 Cor 7:3 MSG
Maintaining your physical connection gives your marriage staying power and protects it from the stresses of life. Create time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with regular sex and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension producer.

One of the problems I have seen here is selfishness. When a spouse is just thinking of his/ her own needs without due consideration for the needs of the other, then sexual intimacy becomes a drag and at best a matter of duty. This takes away the shine. When done with a selfless attitude, with the aim of pleasuring the other party, pleasure eventually comes to you as well.

Pay great attention to this room, and “decorate” it with all manners of ornaments. Be creative with it, and seek for continuous improvement. Be open-minded and willing to learn, especially from your spouse.

It is my prayer and desire that you’d make more room in the coming days and months for the things that will make your marriage and home much better.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Running On Empty - Part II

It is very embarrassing to run out of gas, isn’t it? Those that have had this experience can testify. The interesting thing is that it is a more common phenomenon than you would ordinarily expect. We spend a lot of time and energy focusing on avoiding other serious car problems, while not paying attention to something as simple as fueling up. It should be basic, but our generation doesn’t pay attention to the basics, or do we?

In my last post, I started sharing about the reasons why people run out of gas – drawing and analogy between running out of gas in your car, and running out of gas in every aspect of your life – spiritually, mentally, financially, martially and otherwise. I encourage you to read the details of the 1st four reasons that we discussed, and then I will share a few more.

1.       Not Starting Out with a Full Tank
2.       Being too busy to pause and refill.
3.       Unaware of hidden leaks that drains the tank.
4.       Ignoring the manufacturer’s manual and pushing farther than design.

5.       Being Distracted and not paying attention to the gauges

This is also a common reason why people run out of gas. Sometimes, you are distracted by other things and other priorities, and you take your eye off the gauge.  Even though the gauge is already showing warning signs, you are oblivious to it. You are not paying attention to these signals as you haven’t even noticed them in the 1st place. There are loads of signals that God has placed at our disposal to know when you need to refuel. Do you know that lack of sleep/ insomnia could be a signal that something is wrong somewhere? Irritability is for sure a signal that you are approaching a “red” emotionally. Debt is a subtle signal that you might need to refuel financially. Short temper, especially with your spouse is a signal that a refill is needed. Pain is a signal – a warning that somethings needs correction. Don’t be too distracted to pay attention to these signals.

6.       Being Overloaded – carrying too much weight.

Do you know that a car consumes more gas when it carries heavier weight than normal? The same is true about you. You need to evaluate your loads and your limits as soon as possible. You might be running on empty because you are carrying too much load than necessary.

I realized a couple of years ago that I cannot meet everyone’s needs. My name is not, and will never be “Elshaddai”! Only God is. While I try to help as many people as possible, I am careful not to take on too much load than I can bear. And you should too. I know a couple of marriages running on empty because each of the spouse is carrying too much load from family. People are sending their kids to schools that they cannot afford, and this puts financial load on them. Pay attention to your load, and if your feel overloaded, you need to shed some loads off you as soon as possible.

7.       Rapid Acceleration

Acceleration is great, but sudden/rapid acceleration can cause you to burn more gas than necessary. Have you noticed anyone by the traffic light revving their car engines while waiting for the light to turn green? What went through your mind when that happens? He/ She is burning gas without much motion to show for it. Right?

There is heavy pressure in our world – pressure to do it NOW! It is the world of instants – instant coffee, instant success, instant money, instant marriages, instant communication etc. With this pressure comes the perceived need to accelerate. Sometimes, it is important to stay still, to stay calm and to be at rest. In an age of acceleration, nothing can be more exhilarating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing is so luxurious than paying attention. In an age of constant movement, nothing is as urgent as staying still. Think about that.

8.       Having No Margin

The last time I almost ran out of gas in my car, I believe it was because I didn’t have any margin. Let me explain. I was driving with my wife for a program and we left home a little later than planned (please don’t ask me why). So, we had “just enough” time to make it on time for the program. I noticed that we were low on gas, but I was in a hurry and I planned to refill when we were close to the venue of the program. I had it all figured out. The only problem was that I didn’t build any margin/ buffer. Life being life, we ran into traffic and then the gauge went on “red”! I’d let you imagine the rest.

The point I am trying to make here is this – you need to build margins in every aspect of your life. Some of you need financial margins. Today you are living from one paycheck to another, without any savings! You are living on the edge my friend. When unplanned events happen, you will run out of gas. When was the last time you spent quality time with your spouse, away from any form of distraction (legitimate or otherwise), and filling his/her emotional tank? Any wonder that tiny issues suddenly become mountains?

Margin is the difference between your load and your limits. It is therefore very straightforward to say that there are 2 ways to create more margin for yourself – it is either you reduce your load or you develop your limits. I will leave this discussion till another time.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Mathew 11:28-30 MSG
So, where are you dear friend? How close are you to running on empty? Or have you been on empty for a while now? What is draining you? What is distracting you from the things that matter? Are you even too busy to care? I suggest you start by getting a refill – and what better place to do that than spending time in God’s presence. He will fill you up. He will give you grace to flow in the unforced rhythms of grace. May you find rest!

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Running On Empty

Have you ever driven a car that ran out of fuel/gas before? Maybe not. But have you ever been in one? Okay, maybe it didn’t go that bad. But have you ever been close to running out of fuel/gas, where your gauge was already showing the warning signal? If you’ve not been in any of these situations, then, you are indeed out of this world. Maybe you’ve never ran out of gas while driving a car, but what about emotionally? Spiritually? Financially? Maritally? Psychologically? Have you ever experienced what it means to run on empty? If yes, this piece is for you. It is motivated by a message I listened to recently (Saddleback Church) and some studies I have done around that.  

The anxiety and fear that comes with running out (or almost running out) of gas can be palpable. It comes with the attendant frustration, blame game (especially if your wife warned your earlier), and unnecessary delays that could have (and should have) been avoided. This is as true for a car as it is for life generally. In our fast-paced world, many people are consistently running out of gas. I realize that this is even becoming the default mode for several people – they only try to refuel when they are almost/ already out of gas. I guarantee you that this is NOT the best way to live.

Let me draw a parallel between running out of fuel/gas in your car, and running out of gas in any aspect of your life. It is critical to understand first why people often run out of gas/ fuel and then to highlight the watch outs to prevent it.

So, why do people run out of fuel/gas?

1.  Not Starting Out with a Full Tank

I know people who are painstaking when it comes to filling up their tanks. They generally have a rule that they follow strictly and that works. For example, some never go beyond half tank before they refill. It’s their strategy to prevent them from ever being in a situation where they are out of gas. I believe it is a good strategy. What strategy have you put in place to refuel on a consistent basis? Starting out your day in God’s presence (in prayer and meditation) is a fantastic way to refuel and stay “full”. Taking time out on a consistent basis to rest/relax is not just a luxury – it is a STOP to “fuel up”. I suggest that you do something special with/to your spouse every single day to refill your love tank. Don’t wait until the warning signals come before you start looking for a filling station.

2.  Being too busy to pause and refill.

In our busy world, this is a major one. You can face the dilemma of running out of fuel, not because you were lazy or sloppy, but because you were too busy to pause! You’ve got the kids to worry about, rent is there to be paid, family commitments are there, and the list is endless. These legitimate things cause you to be too busy – too busy to pray, too busy to spend time with those you love, too busy to volunteer for a cause. Little wonder that your emotional tank is already on “red” alert.

3.  Unaware of hidden leaks that drains the tank.

This one is a classic. You can fuel up every day for all you care, if there is a leakage in the system, it is a matter of time before you run out of gas. The wise thing to do is to fix the leakage first and then move on. Ask yourself honestly – what is draining me financially? What are the things I am spending money on that are not really necessary? Why am I emotionally drained? I know of two broad drain pipes that I want to bring your attention to – Responsibilities and Relationships. Be aware. Be on the lookout for relationships that are draining you and avoid them, or fix them. Be sensitive to responsibilities (most of them are legitimate) that are draining your energy and perhaps your time – and causing you to be less than effective. You would need to say NO to these. For some people, it might be things as subtle as watching particular movies, hanging out with particular friends, or devoting time to particular “hobbies”. Do an audit of things that drain you, and have a plan to fix them. You would reduce your chances of running on empty to a great degree.

4. Ignoring the manufacturer’s manual and pushing farther than design.

To the best of my knowledge, every car has a fuel capacity, that can be converted into a certain mileage (all things being equal). This capacity and the corresponding mileage is not the prerogative of the car owner. He has no say in this. This is determined by the manufacturer and is contained in the owner’s manual. It is not subject to the interpretation of the car owner. You ignore it at your peril. Let’s assume that it is a 50 litre capacity tank. The manufacturer had stated that this can cover 10 miles for example. You can’t wake up and start plotting how you’ve use the same fuel to cover 15 miles. Either you limit your trip to 10 miles, or you stop to refuel at some point.

The reason why a lot of people today are running on empty is because they are not following the manufacturer’s manual for living. They are following their own idea for marriage. They want to run their finances using their personal philosophies. For example, the manufacturer recommends a day of rest after every 6 days of work – and obeyed that recommendation himself. Today, people want to work round the clock (to make more money), without obeying the law of Sabbath. I can predict what will happen sooner than later – you will run out of gas and you would become more frustrated. Take marriage as another example. There are foundational laws, clearly called out by the manufacturer of marriage, that makes it work and enjoyable. You will run out of gas when you are trying to “work” it but in your own way, or on your own terms. Quit trying, and follow the manual. You will thank me for it.

To be continued in part 2.....soon.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Birthday Special – The Catalogue of A Hebrew Child

It’s my wife’s birthday today, and it is a VERY significant milestone. She is crossing over the decade line, and to the 4th floor. I am grateful to God for the gift of life, and for the gift of her. As I prepared for this day, I remember something I read/ learnt about a couple of years back. It changed the way I approached things, and I would like to share again on her special day.

Age is an important number that tells you how much you have left. It is both an addition (1 year added to your last years’ age) and a subtraction (1 year subtracted from the reminder!). The truth is that time waits for no man. Today is the 10 years we all spoke about 10 years ago! Yes, it is. It is therefore important to understand that what you do is as important as when you do it. When you see a 70 years old man riding a bicycle, you had better show some concerns. If you are building your first house when you are 80 and it is a 10 room apartment, you may die unnoticed in one of the rooms! No wonder a wise man cried and prayed to God
“ Oh satisfy us early with your mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” – Psa 90:14
Sometime ago, I stumbled on what in my opinion is one of the greatest secret of the Jewish race. They have a perfect understanding of the times. They are very time conscious. They know that the clock ticks away fast and that they have to do what they have to do on time and in their seasons.  No wonder Jews are very successful everywhere in the world they find themselves. Haven’t you noticed that?

Let me share with you the catalogue of a Hebrew Child

Decade of Learning/ Training
The age 0-10 is the decade of learning. During this period, there is a conscious effort to make the Hebrew child learn and learn and learn again. At about the age of 3, he is practically “deposited” with the Rabbi who teaches him all the laws of Moses by heart. By the time he is 9, a Hebrew child can recite by heart all the laws of Moses. He is already convinced about the reality of His God! It is difficult to bend him again and he knows the Bible inside out.

For parent reading this, I strongly advise that you do your best for your children in this age bracket. Send them to the best schools and invest in their learning. This is the decade that they’ll most likely be shaped. 

Decade of Discovery

Between the ages of 11-20, the Hebrew child starts to discover himself and his special gifting and skills. This is the decade when he begins to ask the question “who am I?”, “what are my special gifting and abilities?” 

Read through one of the greatest catalogue of the Hebrews (the Bible) and you will see most of them asking these questions during this decade. Joseph started to explore his gifts of dreaming when he was 17. He discovered that he had a special ability with dreams. So also was David. At the age of 17, he discovered that he had special organizational abilities. He was tending his fathers’ sheep in readiness to lead God’s people.

If you are reading this and you are still within this age bracket, I challenge to discover yourself and your gifting. This will set you up for success.

Decade of Decision

This perhaps is the most critical decade for everyone. It happens between the age 21 and 30. In this decade, decisions that will affect one’s destiny are taken. You decide where to settle, where to work, where to live, who to marry and the likes. At age 30, Jacob suddenly woke up to reality after serving Laban for years. He asked “When will I be able to provide for my own house?” What a question to ask when you are 30!

You’ll most likely live with the consequences of the decisions you take during this decade. Some will take a decision to do drugs and will surely regret it. Some will go the way of sex and will be most miserable. Some, and I hope this includes you, will make right decisions and will benefit from it in subsequent decades.

Decade of Reigning

Especially when the right decisions are taken in the decade of decisions, this is the decade to reign in whatever area of life one has chosen. This is the decade to make waves – to be known, heard and highly rewarded. Jesus took the world by storm during this decade. 3.5 years into this decade, his fame went abroad! It was the same for David. During this decade, he led God’s people successfully and peacefully. He never lost a single battle. Check most people who are reigning their various fields of endeavor and you’ll see that they fall here, For sure, there would be exceptions.

You know people say that “a fool at 40 is a fool forever”. Of course I do not agree. I will rather say, “a fool at 40 is a fool for as long as he still wants to be a fool”. However, the expectation is that at 40, you should be reigning. If you are not, something may be wrong.

I will stop here for now. I hope to write on the other decades sometime soon, as occasion demands.

Meanwhile, please join me in celebrating my wife and best friend, Olubukola as she clocks 40 today! If an angel is missing in heaven, God would not have to look too far. That angel surely will be in my house. What can I do without you? Thanks for sharing everything with me, including my birthday month. Have a great day today, and a terrific decade ahead! 

You are unstoppable, my sweet darling.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Jesus - In Our Shoes

Several years ago, I read a classic story that reveals clearly the essence of what Jesus Christ, the son of God, did for us on the cross. Over two thousand years after, we still remember and celebrate this day of liberation. Let me share the story of Dr Kane with you.

On February 15, 1921, there was a doctor who performed an appendectomy. He was Dr. Evan O'Neill Kane, who in his over 37-years medical career had performed nearly 4,000 appendectomies, so this surgery was not at all unusual except for two things.

First of all, this was the first time that local anesthesia had ever been used in major surgery. Dr. Kane believed that local anesthesia was safer than putting a patient completely to sleep. Most of his colleagues agreed with him in principle, but they wanted to see first if it would actually work. So Dr. Kane searched for a volunteer, a patient who would be willing to undergo surgery while under local anesthesia. It wasn't easy to find one. Most people are squeamish at the thought of being awake during their own surgery. Others are fearful that the anesthesia might wear off too soon.
"He made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!"(Philippians 2:7-8)
Finally, though, Dr. Kane found a volunteer, and on Tuesday morning, February 15th, the operation began. The patient was prepped and wheeled into the operating room. A local anesthetic was applied. And as Dr. Kane had done thousands of times before, he cut open the tissues and removed the appendix. The patient had only minor discomfort and recovered quickly, dismissed two days later.
Dr. Kane had proven his theory. Thanks to the willingness of a brave volunteer, Dr. Kane demonstrated that local anesthesia was an alternative, even a preferred alternative.

But I said there were two facts that made this surgery unusual. I've told you the first: the use of local anesthesia. The second unusual thing was the patient. The patient was Dr. Kane. You see, in order to prove his point, Dr. Kane operated on himself. The doctor became a patient in order to convince the patients to trust the doctor.
"Because He himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted."(Hebrews 2:18) 
As unbelievable as that may seem, it is insignificant compared with what Jesus Christ did for us. The Great Physician voluntarily became one of us. He placed himself in our shoes. He left the glories of heaven to live on this earth as one of us -- to suffer our pains and feel our fears. Why? So that when you hurt, you will know that you have someone who understands - your Great Physician, and you will have confidence to go to him for healing.

He understands relationships. He was rejected by close friends. So, he understands when you have challenges with relationships. He knows what it means to grieve. He suffered the loss of close ones. He understands when you lose close ones and He is always beside you to comfort you. He was the son of a carpenter and he practiced carpentry. I believe he faced challenges with customers and suppliers. Are you going through challenges at work? Believe me, he understands. Whatever you are going through, He became human and went through it, so He can understand, He can comfort you and He can help you. What a saviour!


He is risen!!